I suck at conventional job interviews! I’m too honest.
I show up as myself and not as a caricature of who the interviewer wishes I were.
Often an interviewer doesn’t know what she really wants. Worse than that, I think most interviewers want to be fed a line. Honest.
That’s why you get a question like, “what would your friends say is your greatest challenge/achievement?”
She really means: Tell me if you can follow the rules, play nice with others and not rock the boat.
Like most people in life, interviewers want (fake) you to show up and convince them why (fake) you fits the image they’ve already created in their head of who they want you to be.
In Life, You Don’t Wanna Get Hired…
You Wanna Be Remarkable!
Okay…maybe you do want to get hired, but you have to admit that you want to make your mark. You want to have an impact. The job is just the game board you play on, right?
So I’m going to tell you the best way to stand out, and you can thank me later…or send candy/booze/money (not necessarily in that order!)
Wait for it…
Here it comes!
That’s right. In order to be remarkable, you have to quit trying so hard to be like everyone else who’s trying to be remarkable!
Danielle Dowling (who describes herself as a “professional soul sister”–awesome, huh?) wrote a post this week about giving up on self-improvement. This gem grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and took me to school!
Her insights smacked the bullseye right between my eyes and made me think about why I’m such a self-help/personal development junkie.
This is what she wrote:
…with every new chapter read, flame sparked, note taped
I sent out a silent, somewhat unexamined prayer that sounded like this:
Make me better. Good enough. Worthy.
Help me fix it, change it. Disavow it.
Make me more than what I am.
Because more must be better than what I am right now.
Danielle concluded with this brilliant insight.
Fixing it, we refine it.
Changing it, we discover it.
Dismissing it, we dive into it.
We STOP trying to get fixed.
We choose to steep ourselves in awareness by getting intimate with the very thing we want to “make better.”
Stop and simmer in that one for a bit.
Stand Up to Stand Out
You are remarkable–as you are–without masking, facade, or veiled half-truths.
It’s not that you believe that you aren’t remarkable already, it is that you have spent your whole life trying not to stand out too much while, at the same time, trying to imitate those who you esteem as truly remarkable.
If you want to make your mark, you have to be you.
No more apologizing for yourself–in beliefs, words or actions.
You have to be willing to disappoint the expectations of others.
You must give up the “you” that you have constructed to please all of “them”.
You have to reconnect to that portion of yourself that doesn’t settle and never has. You have to get crystal clear about what you are about, and then you have to do the work to ensure that you are reflected in every. single. thing. you do.
Each of Us Is a Leader
You must first lead yourself.
Honesty. That’s what it is all about.
1. Be honest with yourself about who you are–without judgment or apology.
2. Be honest with those around you. Let them see what you’re about.
3. Be honest with the world about how remarkable you really are!
I’ll Go First…
I am willing to live without apology to others. Their judgments of my motives have nothing to do with me.
No more hiding. I was created to make a mark on the hearts and souls of humankind. It’s who I am and it’s what I do best.
I am an amazing leader with a deep well of compassion and the fire of purpose burning within me. I am a great friend and amazing partner.
What are you willing to quit apologizing for? (and to whom?)
What brilliant part of yourself are you willing to let others see?
How will you stand out and make your mark when you quit trying so hard to be like _______________________?