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Excuses Are Bullshit. You Should Get a Refund!

Photo Credit: Graham Hills

“Step right up!” He hawked. It seemed like a good idea at the time, didn’t it?

All the excitement. The crowds, everyone clamoring for a chance to buy some.

“This amazin’ elixir’ll cure everything from baldness to hemorrhoids,” he promised.

How could you not buy in?

The truth is someone has sold you a load of snake oil about why you can’t (or aren’t) living the life you should be living and you need to take that shit back and get a refund!

Sad thing is, you may actually be the one who’s been selling you this baloney.  Maybe you bought it at wholesale from someone else, and then you re-sold it to yourself in retail-sized packages.

Either way, it’s time to get rid of it cuz excuses are horsepucky.

Two Types of Excuses

The excuses that you and I buy into every day that keep us from pursuing the life we deserve, can be divided into two categories–excuses of obligation and excuses of lack.

You’ve probably used both but may not have really thought about the difference.  Think back to when you were a kid and your mom said, “go clean your room.”

“I can’t,” you replied.

To which she responded, “Why not?”

“I have to do my homework.” Suddenly you were overcome by the obligation of your responsibility to work on your homework.  That’s an example of an obligatory excuse.

Imagine instead that you answered, “I don’t have enough time before I have to leave for school.”

That is an example of an excuse based on lack. Both types are bullshit!

What Is An Excuse, Really?

It’s a belief that we hold that allows us to abdicate responsibility for our lives.

As adults we become even more proficient in the use of excuses to avoid taking responsibility for our lives.  In fact, we often use responsibility as the excuse.

I have a family.

I have to be responsible.

I have a house payment now.

I have a good job.

Excuses allow you to hide.  They allow you to pretend that you are less than you really are. They allow you to fit in and mask the guilt of failing to live up to your potential.

You have everything you need to craft a well-lived life.  There is no lack. So when you find yourself saying things like “I don’t have enough time/money/education,” etc., stop yourself.

You are using your belief in “not enough” to destroy your life.  You are abdicating responsibility for your life to someone else.  And believe me, if you do not live your life, someone else will–your government, your boss, your family.

Creating a well-lived life takes courage. Period.

Those who are truly living their lives are not necessarily smarter than you.

They don’t necessarily have better opportunities.

They are definitely not more worthy or deserving of the life they lead.

They have found the key, though.  It lies in the fact that they truly lead their lives.  They wake up, take courage, and they live!

You can too.  You can decide that you are going to live your life. You can decide that you are done with excuses.  You can replace your excuses with new beliefs based on abundance and power instead of weakness and lack.

You can recognize that your world is nurturing and responsive.  It lies waiting for you to take up your power and go forward into the world as you were meant to–empowered with confidence and strength.

The choice is up to you.

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Excuses Are Snakes and You Gotta Chop Their Frickin’ Heads Off!

Photo Credit: Linda Tanner

All excuses are bullshit.  I hate them!  They piss me off.They cause you to settle for a life less than the one you deserve to lead. They get in your way and allow you to avoid facing your fears.

It’s not just that they are insidious in the way they infiltrate your life, but they paralyze you.  They tie you up. You can’t move forward.  And so you settle for status quo.

I hate that for you.  You deserve better!  YOU are better!!!

So this is what we’re gonna do.  I’m gonna call these bastards out–by name!  You’re gonna be able to see them coming a mile away and when they slither up into your life’s garden, you’re gonna grab your hoe and chop their frickin’ heads off!

You know what excuses are–beliefs you hold that allow you to abdicate responsibility for your own life.  You learned to become a proficient excuse-maker as a child, no doubt; and then as an adult, you developed an expertise in excuse making.

On Thursday, I’ll be posting a podcast talking more about this topic and on Friday, I’m going to post about the two types of excuses we make and why we make them.

In the mean time, let’s look at some additional examples of excuses that we use to avoid our fears.

Additional “Snakes”

I have responsibilities now.  (Conversely, others may tell you, “You need to be responsible”)

It is bad timing.

I need this job.

I don’t have the right education/connections/experience.

I just need my big break.

All of these excuses are snakes and you need to chop their heads off!

If you are feeling guilt or shame about something, you can be pretty sure that there is a snake lurking. The expectation others have of you creates shame.  Your expectation of yourself creates guilt.

It is really easy for these snakes to slither in and offer excuses to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings of shame and guilt.  Once you accept an excuse to lean on, it takes the pressure off of you.

What do you do once you recognize them, though?  After you’ve ripped them out of your life. What then?

You’ve Eradicated the Pests…Now What?

If you don’t have your excuses to rely on, what do you do?

That’s scary.

Years ago, I used my arts degree as an excuse for not being successful in my career.  I have a music degree. I don’t have training in business.

This fact is true.  I do have a music degree.  But it was merely an excuse.  When I surrendered that excuse, I replaced it with a more powerful belief.

I love helping people.  Business is about helping people. I can help people, and I can be successful in business.

It takes balls.  You gotta be courageous.  You have to grab your dreams with your own hands and pull them out of the clouds and slam those puppies down on the foundation of your own reality.

In other words, you gotta take responsibility!

The excuses are just veils for the fears you don’t want to face. You have them. I have them. We all have them.  Good news is that when you muster the courage to look ‘em dead in the eyes, you’ll find that your fears will always be the first to flinch.

That’s cuz they’re just fakers.  Your fears are based on the beliefs you have bought into and used as excuses for why you won’t live your life with power.  Once you recognize that, then you realize that YOU are the real deal!

This doesn’t mean that your circumstances are unreal.  Hear me on this.  This doesn’t mean that the things you have used as excuses are not there.  It simply means that you do not need to use them as an excuse any more.

Excuses are just facts that we’ve twisted into lies.  The facts remain.  But you can always create new facts.  You can always choose a different belief.

What will you choose?

I would love to hear some of the excuses that have held you back and how you set them aside.  What are the empowering beliefs that you have chosen instead? Please share them in the comments below so we can all encourage and inspire each other.

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How Knowing Who You Are and What You’re About Gets You Where You Want to Go

Photo Credit:  Börkur Sigurbjörnsson

A flag makes a statement about who you are and what you’re about.

A flag tells you if the Queen is home (presumably, so you know if you should call for tea).

At half-staff, it sends you scurrying to your smart phone to Google who died and then leave you wondering how the hell the idiot on flag patrol got the memo, but you missed it.

A flag tells you if the ship chasing you is a pirate ship or the coast guard. (Chances are that in either case, you’re in screwed!)

It reminds you of who you are and where you belong.

Have you noticed the new fancy-shmancy banner unfurling in the skies high over Fort TSA?

Are you starting to recognize its colors?  I hope so.

If you’re thinking yellow, red and white…um…yeah, that’s not it. If you’re looking for a real flag somewhere on the site, you missed the analogy and should probably just keep reading.

You are a powerful dream-builder

Notice I said dream-builder and not just dreamer.  Big difference.

You are intentionally crafting a well-lived life.  You’re grabbing your dreams by the balls and pulling them into the experience of your real life!

It takes more than abstract philosophy and vague wishes to create the life worthy of you. It’s not about self-help; it’s about self-reliance!  It requires dedication, discipline and determination. And a butt-load of hard work.

It’s not about self-help; it’s about self-reliance

That’s where courage comes in!

It’s not about some astronomical feat of genius, intellect or physical power.  It is about exercising courage in a consistent way. It’s the persistent, single steps of courage that create a powerful life.

Persistent, single steps of courage create a powerful life!

Courage is setting one foot in front of the other. It is about taking the next step you can see and disregarding the fear of all the steps you can’t yet see.

Courage means taking the next step you can see and
disregarding the fear of those you can’t see.

It’s about who you are

It is recognizing that you are sufficient to create the life you have always dreamed of.  No one else will do it for you. No one else will rescue you.

You are sufficient to create the life you dream of.
No one will do it for you. No one else will rescue you.

You have to show up! You have to inhabit your own life! You have to run up the flag saying, “the Queen is home, dammit!”

You. That’s all.

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Because You’re Still in the Room

 

Photo Credit: David Martyn Hunt

Hey! You. Standing in the corner…

I see you.

Hugging the shadows with your eyes half-open, completely consumed by the music, you are hiding in a room full of people.

Strange…because the only person I noticed is you. [Read more…]