I learned one of the most important lessons of my entire life recently.
You can overcome any obstacle if you let go of the story you’re believing about it.
It’s that simple…and that difficult!
The obstacles that stop you only stop you because of some fear you harbor.
A couple of years ago, my partner and I were having a heated discussion about my ambitions of being a speaker and writer.
I was excusing my lack of results and he said, “Maybe you’re afraid of failure…or success.”
Immediately my mind revolted. I’m not afraid, I thought.
I was lying to myself and until I was able to overcome the story, I was shackled by it.
When you throw off the drama of your story, you release the limitations of the story.
So how do you overcome any obstacle?
How I Overcame My Despair
Years ago, I went through an awful breakup. It was one of those that sticks with you for months. The cloud of depression hunkered down on top of me and wouldn’t break.
At one point, I thought I wouldn’t be able to go on. It was awful.
The defining moment came when I recognized that I had been telling a debilitating story.
It was called Victimhood. It’s a short story. It essentially says, “He/She hurt me. I’ve been victimized, because he/she did this to me.”
How to Overcome Any Obstacle
1. Recognize Your Story
Look for signals like “I can’t because…” or “I would if…”
Any excuse you make for why you’re not overcoming your obstacle is a red flag to tell you that you’re buying into a story.
Once I recognized the story, I realized that it wasn’t true, number one. And number two, I recognized that I could change it.
2. Tell The Truth About Your Story
Once you recognize the story, it’s time to start telling the truth–to yourself, first and then to others.
In my case, I started to tell a new story. I had put a lot of expectations on the broken relationship. I was trying to make the other person the one. It wasn’t meant to be, and ultimately the relationship crumbled under the pressure of these heavy expectations.
When I started telling this story, I was filled with compassion–first for myself. I forgave myself for the insecurity that caused me to pressure another person into trying to be something he was not.
After I forgave myself, I was able to extend grace to the other person and realize I had no need to forgive him in the first place. The healing was instantaneous.
Grace and compassion flowed, unforced and uncoerced. I was free from the pain of my story.
How ‘Bout You?
What story are you clinging to? What is the obstacle you can’t seem to overcome? What is the excuse that you tell yourself (and others)? Let’s help each other heal!