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Making The Tough Decisions

Photo Credit:  Colin_K

You know it’s the right decision to make, but your stomach is tied in knots and you’re afraid to move forward.

Have you ever been here?

What if I’m fucking this up? You wonder.

How do I know this isn’t just my issue and won’t show up again clothed in a set of different circumstances. 

Your mind races with questions. You point to all the reasons that you are making the right decision, yet you still have trouble actually making it.

Is it the right timing?  

Am I doing it in the right way?

The guilt attacks you. A giant, unseen, yet domineering authority looms over you, waiting for you to screw up.  It’s terrifying.

What if they misunderstand?

How can I make them see this is about me, not them?

You feel as if you’re going crazy.

I once thought the same thing.  Let me tell you that you’re not crazy.

Slow down for a minute. Take a breath, and let me share a little story.

A Little Back Story

Years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship. The weird part is that I was so wrapped up in it that I didn’t realize that it was dysfunctional.

I really did feel like I was going crazy. I was incredibly insecure, and I thought it was all me.

God, I need to see a therapist, I thought.  Maybe I really do need to be on meds!

Making the tough decisions can be paralyzing. But maybe you just put off the decision, hoping that the situation will improve.

You hope the other people involved will change somehow.  Or you hope that you will change.

Is it your job?

A relationship?

Maybe it’s something bigger…like the overall direction of your life.

The good news is that you can have clarity!  You can gain the insights and develop the skills necessary to make strong decisions with confidence and courage.

I want to help you.

A Moment of Illumination

Yesterday, I had the most powerful coaching session I’ve ever facilitated.

It felt like breakthrough heaven!  My client dug down to uncover powerful, fundamental beliefs she didn’t even realize she was holding onto, and she was able to begin the process of changing those beliefs.

It was so powerful, that after the consultation, I sat down and started writing.  I realized that we uncovered some fundamental issues that everyone deals with at some point in their lives and that it would be helpful to share these with you all.

Because this has the potential to help so many people, I am building a free program that I will roll out as webcasts on Spreecast.com.  You will be able to watch the show as we uncover some of these insights, as well as, some of our own.

Afterwards, the shows will be archived for you to watch and re-watch if you’re the type of person who likes to take notes, etc.

I wanted to give you all a head’s up, but since I’m still working out the exact format and scheduling for the webcasts, I want you to sign up for a notification e-mail when I get all the details hammered out.

Go ahead and enter your name and e-mail here and I’ll keep you in the loop regarding the webcast.

[ois skin=”TSA: One-Time Reminder Sign Up”]

 
 
Also, if you would like to participate in the sessions by way of some personalized coaching and you have a webcam and microphone, let me know by dropping me a FB message or e-mail through the contact form on this site.

I’ll get with you ahead of time and bring you up to speed about how it all works and to answer any questions you may have about the process.

Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you don’t have to live, trapped by indecision.  You don’t have to remain imprisoned by the guilt you feel for making the decision you know is right for you.

You can live on purpose, with passion and courage.  I want this for you more than anything!

Do you have ideas for format or topics you would want covered in this type of program? I’m still putting it all together, so don’t be shy to chime in with the information that would be most helpful to you!

And if you need some personal direction right away, check out my new affordable coaching packages on the “hire me” tab of this site.  Contact me directly with any questions you have.

 

About Steve

Hi, I'm Steve Rice and my goal is to transform simple philosophical truths into practical fuel to revolutionize your life. It's not about self-help, it's about self-reliance. I show you how. Connect with me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter and let me know how I can help you.

  • Hi Steve
    I think we have all faced those moments in life. In most cases, we know what it is we need to do, but we just do not want to for whatever reason. Usually the necessary change is undesired or will prove extremely uncomfortable. It would be great if we could consult some oracle that could guide us, but barring that, it is a gamble in many respects. While I still have difficulty with this, I am getting better at making uncomfortable decisions because I am getting better at handling discomfort — I know what I need to do and I try to remember that the unpleasant stuff will pass eventually!

    • Steve

      Hi, Kelli! Hope you had a great week.

      Discomfort (or perceived potential discomfort) is the number one reason I think most of us hesitate to make a decision. And we do want to look for an “oracle” or a savior outside of ourselves. (I did a whole podcast episode this week about being the hero in your own life…based on that idea)

      It’s exactly what you indicated, I think…the more comfortable we become with uncertainty the better equipped we become to deal with discomfort.

  • Great post Steve!

    I guess most of us have been there and experienced things you mentioned at some time in our lives, though there may have been a variation. We fail to have the confidence to take that major decision in our life or at that moment, or expect others to come to our help. Instead, what we need is to build upon the self-confidence level by believing in our abilities and having the will power to move ahead.

    I see some wonderful changes you are getting ready for, which is indeed wonderful and I congratulate you for going ahead with such gusto 🙂

    Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors 🙂

    • Steve

      Thanks so much, Harleena! I appreciate the kind encouragement. I am moving forward here on the blog, in my business and in life. It’s exciting to be doing the work that I was meant to do and living the life I was meant to live.

  • Oh boy I know, I had to make a hard decision earlier this week, and believe it or not I ended up turning down work. It was work, therefore money, but too little and not under the right conditions for me to me really happy doing it. And if you’re not happy teaching yoga, well it shows. I knew what I had to do, and still it took me ages to reply because of a “what if?” mindset: what if they don’t want to work with me anymore because I said no for that one? What if I can’t find any other gig? What if… and then I realized that saying no to this was saying yes to something else, that is possibly coming my way 🙂

    Congrats on your new endeavours, I ackowledge you for taking these huge steps to embrace being the hero of your own life 😉

    • Steve

      Kudos to you, Emmanuelle!

      I’ve been in that position before…turning down business is a tough thing to do. But when you value yourself, it changes how you present yourself and interact with your clients. It’s well worth making the tough decision.

      That’s an awesome example in everyday life. Thanks for sharing it.

  • Hi Steve! Nice post and I must agree with you that making decisions are tough especially if you don’t know what are the strategies to make to be in the situation. I have been encounter one time making decision with my self but I end up loosing someone because of selfishness. the inspirational message you have might be a good start to anyone who made wrong decisions.

    • Steve

      Thanks so much for your encouraging experiences and comments, Tracy Ann. Hope you have a great weekend.

      • Hi Steve! I do have a great weekend, How about you? I just want to add something in what I have tell you last week about making tough decision. A while ago I went to hospital because of my niece and I suddenly realize that another thing in making tough decision is because you are panicking. In addition, I don’t know what can be the best words to say while I was looking at her mother crying.

  • Life is full of questions and you feel like you need to find the right answers immediately. In truth, everything is simple. You only have to know what makes you happy and you have to learn how to stick to it.

    • Steve

      Hi Charlotte! Welcome to my site. So glad you stopped by. You bring up one of the most challenging things for all of us I think…Sticking to it! 🙂

  • I used to think I could predict the future. I’m not suggesting I am now or have ever been psychic, on the contrary most of my predictions of the future never came true.

    When I was faced with a difficult decision I would analyze and obsess over the situation, making contingency plans for every possible negative outcome. The idea that a tough decision could work out in my favor was not an option I considered- I simply planned for the worst.

    The reality is my worst fears very rarely come true, and even when they did I found I was able to move past it and make the best of the situation.

    What I discovered is that a positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one, and I will never be able to predict the future. If I want a different result, I must make a choice to behave differently. No matter the outcome, at least I won’t be stuck anymore.

    Thanks for the thoughtful post! Have a grateful day!

    Chrysta

    • Steve

      Love this: “I discovered that a positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one.” This is so true, yet we so often expect the worst situation. (Actually, i did that just this afternoon). Thanks for sharing your wisdom with me and helping me to stay on track! 🙂

      Have a great Friday and following weekend!

  • Ray

    We all have to make tough decisions all the time. When i was in college, i was at the verge of choosing a major that I’d had no passion about. I was pressured by my parents to choose that major and i didn’t want to disappoint them. Later i came to realize that whatever major I choose, will stay with me for the rest of my life. I took the time to convince my parents that med school wasn’t for me. They were skeptical at first, but now they support me.

    • Steve

      Hi, Ray! Thank you for sharing your insight. I can relate so much with your experience in college. I, too, chose a major about which I had no passion. Fortunately, I had an insightful roommate that year who encouraged me to switch my major. I’m SO glad that you were self-aware enough to make the changes that you knew you needed to make in order to be happy in your life!

  • After I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify
    me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time
    a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the same comment.
    Is there an easy method you can remove me from that service?

    Thanks!

    • Steve

      I am only seeing this one comment from you. What was the original post you commented on? There also may be an option to “unsubscribe” in the e-mails that are sent to you.

  • i am totally agreed with kelli cooper. yeah life is full of tough decisions. we have to choose what to do or what is best for us or our family. well its a great post thanks for sharing your thoughts.